Saturday, November 10, 2007

MOMMY CAT: THE SCANDAL CONTINUES


AN ADDITIONAL STATEMENT BY DOC HOLIDAY











(stalked by Rumsfeld)





I have reached the point in this whole mess where I have come to the conclusion that Rumsfeld and Mommy Cat must deal with their private, personal life, and I am asking the press and my supporters and detractors to honor the privacy of my family. As I refuse to claim any relationship with Rumsfeld and Mommy Cat is an adopted niece, I hardly see where their scandalous behavior reflects poorly on either my personal life, my judgment, or my campaign to be the first Feline-American President of the United States of America. I feel it is time my family is allowed to have some privacy as we deal with this potentially embarrassing problem. Further, I do feel additional inquiries into the paternity of the four kittens could only cause undue stress not only on Mommy Cat while she is so purrfectly caring for the little family, but could stigmatize the kittens later in life. I also feel it is not necessary at this time to needlessly speculate as to the genetic damage that may have been inflected on the four little tykes.

Doc Holiday
Purrfect for America

Tuesday, November 06, 2007

SCANDAL ROCKS DOC HOLIDAY CAMPAIGN

Doc Holiday and Mommy Cat in happier times.











FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE

A Statement from Doc Holiday
Purrfect for America!



I am shocked over the growing scandal over the birth of Mommy Cat's kittens and her ongoing and alleged marriage to Rumsfeld, my co-chair of Dogs for Doc. Allegations are surfacing that Rumsfeld is not the father of the kittens, born on November 5, 2007. In an effort to be truthful with my Feline-American constituents and in an attempt to stop this growing scandal from taking over the campaign, I am forced to admit that it is biologically impossible for Rumsfeld to father children. Further, anyone with half a brain realizes that Rumsfeld is a Canine-American and Mommy Cat is a Feline-American. For Rumsfeld to father this current litter is simply impossible. If he wishes to delude himself into thinking that he is indeed the father, then There is nothing an do about it. He is a poodle. It is impossible to expect rational or logical behavior or thoughts out of poodles. They are incapable of it.

Mommy Cat is like a kitten to me. Indeed, when she was rescued, I was her primary care-giver. I love and cherish her as if she were one of my own. I am unhappy with the current state of affairs, but it is for Mommy Cat to come clean and name the father of her current litter. I fear...oh well, we won't go there.

We all know Rumsfeld is making a purrfect ass out of himself over the birth of these kittens. I just don't know what else to say about it, other than just ignore him.

my future plans
I have been traveling through-out this great nation of ours, quietly, with no fanfare, no cameras, and only a minimal staff to help me keep track of reservations, and Feline-Americans I've had the honor to meet. I've come to some interesting conclusions about The Vicious Deer Problem and am going to be announcing a SUMMIT formulate a unified front against the growing and possible terror threat from these entities. I am also retracting my previous comments about them. I now feel they are a growing threat against the well-being of all Feline-Americans.

You will be hearing more about this in the near future.