Tuesday, November 06, 2007

SCANDAL ROCKS DOC HOLIDAY CAMPAIGN

Doc Holiday and Mommy Cat in happier times.











FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE

A Statement from Doc Holiday
Purrfect for America!



I am shocked over the growing scandal over the birth of Mommy Cat's kittens and her ongoing and alleged marriage to Rumsfeld, my co-chair of Dogs for Doc. Allegations are surfacing that Rumsfeld is not the father of the kittens, born on November 5, 2007. In an effort to be truthful with my Feline-American constituents and in an attempt to stop this growing scandal from taking over the campaign, I am forced to admit that it is biologically impossible for Rumsfeld to father children. Further, anyone with half a brain realizes that Rumsfeld is a Canine-American and Mommy Cat is a Feline-American. For Rumsfeld to father this current litter is simply impossible. If he wishes to delude himself into thinking that he is indeed the father, then There is nothing an do about it. He is a poodle. It is impossible to expect rational or logical behavior or thoughts out of poodles. They are incapable of it.

Mommy Cat is like a kitten to me. Indeed, when she was rescued, I was her primary care-giver. I love and cherish her as if she were one of my own. I am unhappy with the current state of affairs, but it is for Mommy Cat to come clean and name the father of her current litter. I fear...oh well, we won't go there.

We all know Rumsfeld is making a purrfect ass out of himself over the birth of these kittens. I just don't know what else to say about it, other than just ignore him.

my future plans
I have been traveling through-out this great nation of ours, quietly, with no fanfare, no cameras, and only a minimal staff to help me keep track of reservations, and Feline-Americans I've had the honor to meet. I've come to some interesting conclusions about The Vicious Deer Problem and am going to be announcing a SUMMIT formulate a unified front against the growing and possible terror threat from these entities. I am also retracting my previous comments about them. I now feel they are a growing threat against the well-being of all Feline-Americans.

You will be hearing more about this in the near future.




4 comments:

The Meezers said...

wait, there were poodle-kittens born today? this is what happens when poodles run for office.

The Crew said...

Doc, most politicians would attempt to distance themselves from any hint of scandal.

I commend you for your loyalty to Mommy Cat in her time of need, however we agree, she should divulge the name of the father of this litter so as not to harm your campaign any further.

Maybe you can tell the media that Rumsfield has been hired as a Au Pair.

Ramses said...

Oh how lovely, kittens! :)

Purrsonally I think it's every female felines choice to keep the name of the father if her kittens a secret if she wants, regardless of where she lives! This can save hurting the feelings of those males we love, but who have had a hoohaaectromy and are therefore unable to father a litter in the biological sense! Or in Rumsfield's case being of the wrong species... Think of it as surrogate fathering and it takes on a much nicer aspect! :)

Patty Dogster said...

I love your platform! Doc for Prez! Your photos are gorgeous too! Meow! You might be interested in a cool offer Catster and Shutterfly have right now - where you can get free photo cards of your beautiful kitties...check it out!