Saturday, October 06, 2007



(looks directly at camera)

First, I want to thank Skeezix for so graciously hosting this historic event. Never in the history of the civilized world, to my knowledge, have Feline-Americans been given the opportunity to rise so high in public life and in responsibility. While we have had numerous Feline-Americans who have been in the position of “First Cat”, we have never had the opportunity to rise above that pandering position and seek out an actual position of power. Skeezix has had the vision to facilitate this momentous moment in history by sponsoring these debates. Thank you from the bottom of my heart. I am humbled to be among such Feline-American pioneers as Skittles, Chey, Cato, and Cheysuli.

I like honesty.

(stares into the camera)

Because of my philosophy in life, I feel I must make one quick comment. Is it possible Feline-Americans are now giving in to mass hysteria over the issue of alleged Deer-American viciousness. I truly fear this hysteria will turn in to actual discrimination. We have only to look at the plight of Skunk-Americans to see where this is going.

(looks stern)

We are Feline-Americans. We are the superior entities. It is time to act like it. The only thing we should be afraid of is the occasional leaf.


I see that I am over my allotted 200. But, I must add, in all honesty, the only Americans I feel should be discriminated against are certain Poodle-Americans and Pug-Americans. Other than that. Live and let die. (song favored by the Human-American Staff)

Now, my questions. Rather than ask specific questions of my very worthy opponents, I would rather ask three general questions and request all of my opponents answer them. I will also answer.

1. What is your opinion of mandatory spay & neuter city ordinances?
2. If you wear a collar, would you be willing to wear an American flag charm?
3. I would also like to ask each of my opponents what their personal catnip preferences and habits are.
(looks very stern) We are living in treacherous times. Should the President of the United States be allowed to consume cat-nip, or any other substance that might hinder their judgment?

(smiles for the camera)

1 comment:

Ramses said...

Doc how about filling a suite for "Corporate Cat-slaughter" against these greedy pet food corporations when you become President? After all some were wilfully negligent, until the problems became public knowledge... :(