Friday, August 31, 2007

The Big Party, Part II


A good time was had by all!

I consumed quite a bit of C-NIP yesterday. I want my loyal supporters to know that while I may have over-indulged, my judgment was not impaired at any time. I also want m loyal supporters to know that I limit my consumption of C-NIP and am basically a very sober feline. I must also admit that when I do over-indulge I have a tendency to be a little grumpy and take it out on Rumsfeld (who deserves ever clawmark).

Oh - my aching head!

If that dog comes near me today I swear it isn't going to be pretty!

Until later....

Does anyone have a cat treat?

The Big Party

PARTY







Doc is belly up! Bat (Brat) Masterson is really into dignity!


Doc celebrated her 7th birthday with a catnip bash. Everyone in the family was invited but Rumsfeld, who felt very left out and ignored.


Thursday, August 30, 2007

BIRTHDAY GREETINGS


Doc Holiday working on her blog.

Today is my 7th birthday. I am now old enough to officially consider my consideration to run for President of the United States of America. I’ve had some encouraging news. Yesterday evening I was fortunate enough to have dined with a long-time member of the RNC. He was extremely encouraging and felt the time had indeed come for a Feline-American to consider such a momentous decision.

So, I am officially announcing that I am officially considering the possibility that I, Doc Holiday the Cat, will consider the possibility of eventually making an announcement of my future plans.

Currently, though, I am going to enjoy my birthday. I’ve had a fight with Rumsfeld. I swear, with God as my witness, if I am elected President of the United States of America I will do something drastic with that annoying little twerp of a dog. Right now he and Mommy Cat are, well, I’m too polite to say what they are doing, but I think you get the picture, and right now I wish I could get it out of my mind.

Also, yesterday evening I began negotiations with someone who has applied to be my assistant campaign director. She has some excellent promotional suggestions, including buttons and bumper stickers. I will be making an announcement as to her status in the near future. (Sigh) Right now I am so annoyed with Rumsfeld I can’t think straight. I know this is a problem I must over-come before I can consider a momentous life-change. If I cannot deal with Rumsfeld, how can I even hope to handle the other problems that are plaguing our crazy mixed up world. It has occurred to me the problems I have with Rumsfeld don’t amount to a hill of beans when taken into context with world peace.

What had began as a happy occasion today has turned into a time of self- examination and introspection. I must also come to terms with the fact that my mother abandoned me when I was nine days old. I know I still have issues with that even though I was rescued and given a much better life than my other siblings enjoyed. My beloved GeorgeW never truly adapted to this life-style. Indeed I do not think she truly wanted to live. Like I mentioned earlier, I have many issues to sort out today.

Until tomorrow;

Doc Holiday

Wednesday, August 29, 2007

Doc Holiday Promises PURRfection!

Doc Holiday is tough on crime!

Thirteen Campaign Promises from Doc Holiday

1. I promise to have a purrfectly honest administration

2. I promise to ban all dogs with the exception of those who are ‘working’

3. I promise to shoot Rumsfeld “to the moon”!

4. I will end all feline declawing!

5. I will create catnip stamps for those cats who cannot afford their own catnip. When I am President of the United States there will be catnip in every stuffed mouse. No cat will go without.

6. I will maintain the dignity of every cat, even if it forces me to take drastic measures when it comes to dogs (especially Rumsfeld).

7. My first act as President will be to ban all food products from China. All cat (okay, dog too) food must first class, gourmet, and must taste like fishies. If it isn’t, we’re gonna make our humans eat it! No more poison products from China. As someone who has lost a twin sister, and a very young niece, I pledge that from this day on all cat food will be safe! (You may applaud now) From this day on, all cat food must be P-U-R-R-fect!

8. Any dog who barks at a cat will be imprisoned, subjected to cat-astrophic torture, and will no longer be allowed to have tummy rubs. This goes for you too, Rumsfeld!

9. Mice will no longer be allowed to scare cats. I know, this is a subject we don’t like to discuss, but mousies are scary. Cats should not be expected to hunt and then to eat (shudder, gag) them. B – A – R – F!

10. All cats and kittens who are forced to live in shelters must be treated with dignity and kindness. All (sob) mercy murdering of those disadvantaged homeless felines must end immediately. Further, all cats in shelters must have daily allowances of cat-nip. Also, no cat should be harassed or imprisoned with dogs. Cats are dignified individuals. We MUST be allowed to have our dignity.

11. If a cat chooses to live out-doors and not be attached to any one human, I promise that they will be fed daily and will receive daily allowances of catnip.

12. All coyotes will be shot on sight. Any dog who hurts a cat will be executed immediately. (That goes for you, too Rumsfeld!)

13. All cats must be allowed to be themselves, to do what they want, when they want it. No dog will ever allowed to chase or harass a cat, ever again. (Take that, Rumsfeld!) I promise all cats will live in a Purrfect World!

Tuesday, August 28, 2007

FOR IMMEIDATE RELEASE


DOC HOLIDAY FOR PRESIDENT
Doc Holiday the Cat will be "35" in cat years on Thursday and qualified to be the President of the United States. She is considering a 'fact finding' look-see to ascertain if she might want to consider a run for the GOP POTUS nomination.

FAMILY VALUES
Doc Holiday is a strong believer in family values and is shown here with her year old niece, Little Joe Cartwright. While Doc has no children of her own, she has taken an active role in raising not only Little Joe and her brother, Bat Masterson, but Doc also raised their mother, Mommy Cat. Mommy Cat is divorced from the birth father of Little Joe and Bat Masterson, and is currently married to Ronald Rumsfeld Reagan Reidhead. It is mixed marriage. Rumsfeld is a toy poodle. Doc presides over this large and busy household, but feels it is important to take time from her home and her activities to run for President of the United States of America as a Republican Cat.

Doc Holiday the Cat will be 7 years old on August 30. If she does consider the possibility of considering a run Doc assures me she will be dedicating her candidacy to the memory of her beloved twin sister, the late, and very beautiful GeorgieW.

PLATFORM
DOC HOLIDAY will be running as a moderately liberal conservative Republican on a platform of Cat's Rights. Her positions will be announced as soon as she has them. Currently, Doc is in the process of celebrating her birthday and is suffering from an over-indulgence of c-nip. She wants everyone to know that catnip is a purrfectly legal substance. While she advocates free-usage of c-nip, she wants her loyal supporters to know that she is not in the habit of over-indulgence.

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