Saturday, October 13, 2007


Sorry for not keeping in touch the way I should, but I have had a busy week interacting with Human-Americans and campaigning. I've discovered that Human-Americans need much attention and inter-action. I think it is a lesson we Feline-Americans have a tendency to forget. So, swallowing my pride, I have been busy dealing with Human-American interactions. Trust me it is a very dirty job but I am just the Feline-American to do it. It has also come to my attention that perhaps all of us running for the office of POTUS who are Feline-Americans have ignored the issue of Human-Feline interaction. I think perhaps we must simply allow Human-Americans to bestow love and adoration upon us. It is so good for them. I've been doing some serious research on the subject and have discovered that Human-Americans require constant attention from us, especially when they are doing intricate tasks. Human-Americans have such a limited attention span that I believe it is our lot in life to help them manage their time wisely. Take my Human-American staff. If I did not sit right on their writing table, and literally keep my front paws on the Mac-Book Pro, nothing, and I reiterate NOTHING would be accomplished. So, when I could be out campaigning and dealing with the future of the United States of America, where am I? I am sitting there, watching every stroke of that Human-American's hands. Then, on top of that, I must keep my eyes on the computer screen to make sure there are no mistakes. When mistakes are made I simply must slap those fingers. When the Human-American staff rebels and moves my paws from off the computer, I must teach said staff a lesson and take a nip on top of those busy little hands. (sigh) It is so difficult. I am exhausted. There are times when I simply and literally fall asleep sitting there. Not two feet away from me Bat Masterson is napping in his box, playing with the Ultimate Cat toy when he happens to wake up every once in awhile. But me, no I am using my nap time to insure my Human-American staff does their proper blog posting.

I digress. I think we need to face the fact that Human-Americans are a serious problem for us. We must sleep with them. We must constantly wrap ourselves around their feet and legs when they walk. We must sit by the bathroom lavatory when they (yuck) brush their teeth and put on make-up and offer honest, but gentle criticisms. If necessary, there are times when we must smack the mascara want from their hands. The same thing holds true for nail-polish. (sigh). Human-Americans are just so insecure. They need our never-ending reassurance. They need us to sit on the edge of the bathtub and test the bubbles. We must constantly taste-test the new shoots on the asparagas fern to see if they are growing properly. I still don't know why they want us digging around in the big plant pot, spreading black potting-soil on the floor. It is dirty and messy. But - they want us to do it.

I am exhausted just thinking about all of this. I want a nap, but my Human-American staff requires that I lay here with my elbow resting on the elbow. I could be in my comfortable, warm bed, but noooo I must nurse the growth of this blog.

I'm not even discussing the fact that they demand we purr for them. Give me a break!

Human-Americans, sometimes can't live with them, but we can't live without them.

Until later (yawn);
Doc Holiday
Purrfect for America


Ramses said...

We Feline-Brits have a similar problem. It seems my little sister Isis is forced to drag our huge, massive water fountain into the middle of the kitchen floor in order to remind the adult male Human-Brit that it needs cleaning... Plus my poor housemate Tigmut'hep was forced to dig up Mummy's herb planter and use it as a litter box this morning as the adult male Human-Brit had forgotten to clean that first thing this morning also!

Caesar and Princess said...

WE are just very happy to know that you are deeply involved in your commitment to all kitties and humans too.
Hey, when you are president you should have a splendid relationship with both!

The Cat Realm said...

I Dare You!
Yes, It is ME, Anastasia! Karl was thoughtful enough to put the Dare out on the Day of the Dead, so I can come personally! And if you don't accept the challenge, I might just come again and haunt you, Hahahahahahahahaha!