Monday, September 17, 2007

DOC HOLIDAY – PURRFECT FOR AMERICA


POSITION PAPER #3

HUMAN-AMERICANS

WITHOUT COMPASSION

Today something rather unsettling occurred. First though, I must apologize for my absence. I’ve been busy reconsidering my consideration to run for President of the United States. I have still not come to a concrete conclusion.

Something rather unsettling occurred. My Human-American parent was running an errand for her parent when she was confronted by the lady who runs our condos. Some horrible Human-American was complaining about the Skunk-Americans who come into our carport in the evenings to dine with Grand-Mommy-Cat and the little ones. This Human-American person had the audacity to demand my Human-American parent stop feeding Grand-Mommy-Cat and the little ones in the evening, AS If my Human-American parent were that STUPID!

This demand made my fur fluff. Naturally I wanted to take it out on Rumsfeld, the Canine-American who bounced up and down like an idiot and thinks he is cute, but I did not. As I am now a Purr-fect National Figure and role model for other Feline-Americans I have realized I simply cannot indulge myself in my favorite sport of Rumsfeld-baiting.

I digress.

I am still Purr-fectly furious.

Human-Americans who put their purr-fectly demanding creature comforts above the nutritional needs of those less fortunate are above and beyond contempt. Do they not comprehend that there are those among us who are not fortunate enough to have been rescued and taken into the absolutely Purrfectly Purrfect home? There are good, decent, law-abiding Feline-Americans who are forced to live outside. I will admit that some, like Grand-Mommy-Cat appear to enjoy living outside, but really….

And then to deny Purrfectly decent Skunk-Americans a square meal is just downright mean.

Frankly, I am glad, Purrfectly pleased I will admit, to say that the very rude Human-Americans who were not able to make all that noise, drink all that beer, and drive those nasty motor-cycles on Friday evening deserved every Skunk-American retaliatory action my good Skunk-American friends and neighbors aimed at them. Unfortunately it was not enough. By Saturday evening they were once again on the balcony, making all sorts of annoying sounds, causing Rumsfeld to run around like the idiot Canine-American that he is.

The Skunk-Americans who were forced to defend themselves on Friday evening have my full and unwavering support. Not only were their actions appropriate, but absolutely necessary. Further-more, my Human-American parent swears she will not stop feeding Grand-Mommy-Cat in the carport. She informs me she has been feeding Feline-Americans in her carport for nearly ten years and will not stop.

Doc Holiday
Purr-fect for America







3 comments:

The Crew said...

Is someone going to hold a rally for the Skunk-Americans? Don't they have rights too?

THE ZOO said...

We hope yur human told these bad peeps to minds their own damned (oops is i allowed to say that..blade its ok this time..sissy) business. we hates bad beans.....bladey at the zoo

Gretchen said...

Hi, I'm Gretchen. I was just visiting over at Crews Views, catching up on the latest news, when I spotted your campaign for President. So I came by to meet you and after reading some of your post, I've decided that I will vote for you to be our next President. Don't let the skunk haters win! Sometimes I see the little black and white fur balls come visiting my garden late at night. Their very nice.
Come by for a visit, sometime.
Gretchen