Monday, September 03, 2007

POSITION PAPER #2

CONSIDERING TROUBLE HELMSLEY

Nothing is more tragic than the loss of our parents and staff. Not only do we no longer have a loving environment, but our life-style is drastically changed. While Trouble Helmsley has $12 million to assist her in her later years, most of us won’t even have $12, let alone a guardian who is legally bound to care for us. Perhaps it is time for Cats and Dogs to unite and require a philosophical and legal change in how we are cared for in the event of a cat-astrophe.

It’s easier for dogs. All they want is to be loved. Take Barney Bush for instance. I don’t think any of us believe Barney cares if he lives in the White House or in Crawford, Texas. All Barney wants is to be with his Dad. Then there are poodles like Rumsfeld. Rums is such a little sociopath he doesn’t care where he lives as long as he has a party, hot and cold running girl doggies, and treats. Oh, sure, he acts like he can’t let our mommy out of his site. It is embarrassing. But, does he really care? I don’t think so. I have heard though, that other doggies are more loyal.

It has been my personal experience with doggies that the old sad poem about a dog not caring about his/her master’s status is a pile of doggie do. My mommy’s previous doggie, Clancy would rather live with her grand-parents than mommy. Between you and me I think dogs have this scam running just to keep people thinking they are loyal. Bull! The problem with dogs is they are so demanding and require constant approval and affirmation.

If a doggie’s parents have not made final arrangements, and they go before the tragic doggie, who is going to provide this constant affirmation?

If a cat loses her purrfect home and staff, who is going to step in and micro-mange the situation for her. We aren’t detail oriented. Cats look at the big picture. We are more interested in our own purrfect creature comforts and the fact that our devoted staff is always there to make sure this purrfection is ongoing and constant.
If something happens to our staff and the humans for whom we have allowed into our hearts (mommy for instance) what is going to happen to us. I for one am not capable of living outside, begging for scraps. I have too much dignity. Bat Masterson has no claws! Mommy Cat has not been spayed. She would be a baby making machine. As repulsive as that idea is, consider the plight of Little Joe. The poor thing is such an emotional wreck she doesn’t even know if she is coming or going. If she were outside or left without staff who understands her, she would never survive!

Sure, Hondo Kitty, a relative, thinks he is hot stuff and can live outdoors, but let one little skunk wave a tail and he’s hanging on the door screen trying to get back into the house. And, if you’ve been de-clawed it’s hard to hold onto a screen, so I am told.

That’s the point.

We, as Feline-Americans and Canine-Americans need to take steps to insure the continuity of our purrfect domestic situations in the cat-astropic event of a termination of care-giving staff. Frankly I don’t know if legislation is needed or simply a change of culture.

WE NEED TO CHANGE THE CULTURE

1. A good place to start is by demanding your care-giving staff, i.e. (family) have a frequently updated will with “pet” (that’s such a demeaning word) guardianship fully highlighted and notarized.

2. Our care-giving staff MUST, and I repeat, MUST seek our input when choosing said guardians. What good is life if we don’t approve of our proposed guardian staff?

3. Encourage your care-giving staff to allocate a trust fund. What good is having guarding staff if they can’t afford fresh, primo, organic C-Nip?

THE TROUBLE HELMSLEY LAW

If I am elected President of the United States of America I will propose legislation that requires all care giving staff be required to establish trust funds and approved guardian in notarized documents to be updated yearly or at our request. No dog, cat, nor parrot or any other individual dependent upon human care giving staff should be placed in a position where they fear a loss of purrfect living conditions. It is our inalienable right!

3 comments:

ML (Mary Lynn) said...

KC said...
Here, here, Doc, furry good points. Well put.
Purrs, KC

HRH Yao-Lin said...

well said Doc. I think my human has a trust fund in place for me at the moment. Well, she better had.

Mungo N Teazer (and the Firecat too!!!) said...

Yanno... KC and Sanjee may have been laffin at dis at da Blogosphere, but its furry troo n furry impawtant. Mommy wurks fer guys dat make dese kinds of kitty trusts. Mommy didn't get it at furst efur, but den agin, she wuznt wurkin fur us yet.